ADHD Diagnosis, Grief, and Money: Starting Whole

If you’ve had the privilege of receiving a diagnosis, did you also have the privilege of holding space for your grief? Did you have the privilege to mourn your neurotypical self? Did an End-of-Life Doula sit with you as you navigated the liminal space between neurotypical and neurodivergent? Or are you still stuck—playing the part of neurotypical, or using the neurotypical standard as the measuring stick of success?Did you look ahead and consider all the paths you didn’t take—the branches that fizzled out before your eyes with this new reality?Did you look behind you and find compassion for the paths where you stumbled, knowing that the skinned knees and impassable turnstiles led here—to this, to now? A feeling, a hunch, and then a sort of certainty: diagnosis.But that certainty is different from an actual, finite death—because this death must be picked apart. What life choices were authentic? Where did the masquerade begin, and has it ended?Maybe there were intersections where you stood partly in the truth of your full self and partly in shadow. If you went back, could you show up again at that intersection, move two clicks to the right, and stand fully in the light of your true self? Or were you at the wrong intersection altogether, lost on a route mapped for your neurotypical counterpart?If you are a high-functioning ADHDer, have a late-in-life diagnosis, or are experiencing heightened ADHD symptoms, you are likely exploring your next step. What often tags along with this is the question: How do I design a life that befriends my mind and honors my financial commitments?Personal finances are often framed in a neurotypical way. It seems like to experience financial growth, you must do things “the right way.” For women diagnosed with ADHD, the “right way” can feel impossible. Ministry of Harmony acknowledges this struggle and encourages you to seek financial harmony through practices that center your unique flavor of ADHD.As you emerge from the mourning period, I wish you wholeness. In your wholeness, I invite you to make space for financial harmony. I hope you root this harmony in your financial values. In the next article, we’ll explore how stating and writing down your financial values can have a more lasting impact than a budget—for ADHDers.

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